My stint as Ethel P. Savage--Otherwise Known as Living as a Blue-haired Actress

 I haven't written much. Why? Because I have been focusing on someone else's words--John Patrick's most particularly. I was cast as the lead, Ethel P Savage in The Curious Savage. Now, being in a play isn't new to me. I've been in tons of them in the last five years or so. Being the lead, however, is huge. I have avoided getting leads for many reasons. There aren't that many roles for women of my--ahem--maturity. But I have had serious concerns about learning a lot of lines.

Here's what happened with this play. A friend of mine told the director about me because they needed someone who was--mature. (I don't really mind the word old but mature is funnier because I often don't feel old or mature!) I emailed the director and began telling him why I couldn't be in his play--before I even auditioned. My reasons:

1. It's far away, relatively speaking, and Jan and Feb can have some wicked snow. (As it turns out, we had one difficult snow travel day and two weird fog travel days.)
2. I have a hard time learning lines.

After I went to callbacks (I didn't audition proper--just went to callbacks) I emailed him again and said, if anyone else will work, cast them. I had had a great time auditioning and resonated with some of the actors I'd worked with during the audition. But again, that drive. Those lines.

Gabe Spencer, my director, cast me. Then, because my husband is a great researcher, he started researching about The Curious Savage (which we had seen years before and loved) and fell in love with the entire play. He offered to be the dramaturg and then became the stage manager, as well.  These were back to back miracles.

Gabe's direction has been a marvel. I have never worked with someone who has more fun ideas, more challenges to me to reach for a deeper character, who trusts me with so much responsibility. I am kind of freaked out that this kid (he's 25) has so much direction finesse and ability, but I'm just soaking it in. I took this part, in part (pun!) to put it on my resume. But as is usually the case, the role is becoming me and I am becoming it and I love Ethel P! I had my epiphany with her on Saturday and started to cry as she became completely real to me. She is a wonderful, scrappy, funny lady with blue hair.

 Yes, blue hair. My husband colored my hair. Since it came out turquoise the first time, he insisted it be perfectly, purely blue and glopped on a second, more thorough color process. When I asked him if he was embarrassed about me with blue hair, he gave me that look and said, "I stopped being embarrassed about you a long time ago." Um, thank you? He did a beautiful job with my hair and while I feel a little odd with such dark hair and such dark BLUE hair, Ethel P is a lovely lady to share a heart, body, head of hair and soul with.

We open in a week. I'm still not completely memorized, but I have enlisted women in my church's women's group to come read lines with me. I am going to go call one as soon as I publish this blog.

About this play and energy. I have done the usual recording the lines and listening to them on my Ipod. And listening and listening. But I also have done energetic clearing every single day about my fears. I wrote my lines out and that almost sealed the deal for me, memorizing-wise, meaning they started to make sense and stick. The clearing has made the difference. I'm getting my energy to the place where I love my lines, not dread them. I'm not there yet, but getting much closer. I've also been to my church's temple every week and the love and peace I feel there has been dramatically helpful. (I just wrote a pun and didn't even mean to! Ha ha.) During the rehearsal period, I even got another UTI and worked through it with not only antibiotics but with energy healing (The Emotion Code) with an energy healer friend, and my UTI was gone. (I know this may be TMI, but it relates to energy and is important, so I had to add it.)

I have struggled with anger a lot lately and finally have to come to terms with it. My anger (disappointment, fear and so forth) is about me. It is about my willingness (or has been in my case unwillingness) to submit to the Spirit. Willingness to follow Christ. Willingness to remember that I am in charge of my energy, no one else. The thoughts that bring me down? They are mine to either stay inside of me and fester, or hand over to Christ and be free. Why do I forget this?

In this last week of rehearsal, I am eager to let go of all of this and find in return, love, peace, excitement, an amazing character inside me and an enthusiastic and inspiring cast and production team to work with. The show will go on, and it's going to rock!