JENenergy--Life, Love, God and Other Stuff

Christmas was different this year than any other. Last year was our first no-kid-at-home Christmas, but I was so sick, it didn't matter. This year, I'm healthy as can be, but I was so busy with getting missionaries taken care of, by Christmas Eve, I was worn out, wrung out and standing in the middle of the evening with nothing to do. Hubs and I bickered, which was unfortunate. But I realize now I was dipping after the high energy of asking for, gathering and delivering Christmas gifts to missionaries for weeks. It was a high, and then came the inevitable low. Christmas Day, our son on an LDS mission Skyped with us. For those who don't know, we only get two phone calls per year. Yes, you read that right--PER YEAR. We get emails every week. But no texts. No calls but the two. He's in Massachusetts, the land of my father and ancestors. Where it is 65 degrees to our 30 and lower in Utah. And our hour-long Skype was wonderful. Too short but satisfying all t...

So everyone who was in the theater to watch Don Verdean had a vested interest in it. Meaning we were all extras. We all laughed a lot. It's a funny show, but there is special delight in saying, out loud in the theater, "There I am!" Just like everyone believes they are good drivers, everyone thinks they're nice. But if your judgmental and/or mean comments make nice, gentle people leave a FB group in cyber tears, you aren't nice. Just sayin'. My living room is now almost completely full with Christmas-for-Missionaries stuff. My strategy is to take the Christmas bags to the Temple Square Mission. I am really hoping they'll take them all! All the clothing items are going to Boston. And the food stays here in a special corner of my family room and once a month, I am going to do the rounds of nearby missions, giving food packages to the mission hoes to dole out to needy missionaries. At first, the more stuff I got, the more freaked out I got. But no...

About a week ago, I felt the tears, the sadness of others, which isn't unusual, as I am an Empath. But it was so poignant and so real, I couldn't keep it in. Let me tell you what happened. In my Church (LDS/Mormon), young men at age 18+ and young women age 19+ have the opportunity to serve 18-month or 2-year missions. They leave family and friends and sleeping in and popular music and thousands of other "normal" teenage activities to serve the Lord. They perform service--my son shoveled snow for months in New Hampshire--teach people about God, love people. They have great faith. Some of these missionaries come from homes that either have little to no money or their families have cut them off for being Mormon and going on a mission. These kids get no letters, no emails, no packages and no Christmas. In every mission in the Church (and there are 418 of them), there are missionaries who never get anything. This breaks my heart. It really breaks my heart. Last year...

It is snowing. And snowing. I feel trapped. I didn't exercise today, and this is huge, since it takes an act of Congress to keep me from exercising. Oh! Was that a political comment? It wasn't meant to be, but that's a blog for another day. Along with being trapped by snow, I found out that someone I thought was a friend isn't one. The thing is, were we ever Facebook friends? Or did we just message? I can't remember, but I do remember being friendLY. We were friendLY. So I went to tag her today and I couldn't. It was a weird and ridiculously unsettling experience. Here in cyberspace, you don't hear the slam of the phone after someone saying, "I don't like you anymore and I don't want to be your friend!" You don't hear anything. It's silent rejection. And it feels weird, and remarkably awkward. I remember I did a show years ago and Facebooked all the members of the cast. It was an unusual show--I had the lead but was not one of t...

In my Church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we send out missionaries. And in recent years, due to the Church's policy to allow young men to leave at age 18 (instead of 19) and young women to leave at 19 (instead of 21), there are A LOT of missionaries out there. Over 88,000 of 'em. Yes, you read that right. I myself am the mother of a missionary and this whole experience has been a life-changing one, one I will write about more often in the future. But here's the thing I need to tell you and you and you. I t's Christmastime. There are thousands of missionaries who will not get anything for Christmas this year.* I have been filled with the fire of a loving mother, of a daughter of God, of a disciple of Christ to let EVERYONE know that we--you and me and your Aunt Matilda--can support these missionaries! It will take time, but we can do it. You see, I am an Empath and I can feel the hope and the desire for the validation that a small gift or ca...

My son Nathan died many years ago from a heroin addiction. It was horrible. All of it was simply horrible. The estrangement before, the small inching back we had done that I thought was repairing our broken relationship, the hope I felt that he had started college and had a new girlfriend after he left rehab. All of it gone. For a year, I was numb with guilt when I wasn't screaming with agony. That sounds over-dramatic. I assure you--it is not. It was horrible, too. Through the years, I have learned to live with the pain and basically gotten through it. I absolutely know Nathan is in a better place. I testify of this. He has come to me and told me and it was a loving experience. In the meantime, I have done a lot of work to learn how to love, how to stop fearing, to forgive, to embrace life. I am okay. Today, a comment on a post that I made two years ago came up about Nathan. I'm putting it in this blog rather than paraphrasing it: It sounds like u are so very terri...

As a writer and editor, I know the stories we like to read start with a bang and no backstory. But I need to share a little bit. I'll make it quick: A year ago, my best friend, my almost 19-year-old son Caden Mustoe, left on an LDS mission to Boston, Mass. I was happy for him but destroyed inside. My marriage was over, so I thought, my health deteriorated to the point that I ended up in the ER a month after he left (so I was sick for Christmas.) This is where the story starts: After a few miracles, my life began to shift. What changed it are these: Feeling the Spirit by using Law of Attraction clearing Serving missionaries that have no other support Forgiving myself and my husband for all the problems we have had together Finding out I'm an Empath and started using this spiritual gift for good. This Christmas, I have pushed, prodded, bugged, posted, asked for and did just about everything I could to help missionaries out in the field that have no other support. I...